Ryoumu's Quest for Beautiful Women [Open to guys only. >w>]

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

((NUE INVADED YOUR GOD-DAMN POST. GIRL POWER!!! -woosh-))

Ryoumu entered the Human Village with a confident look on his face. He stood in the center of the village, looking around with his arms folded. "Hmm... I wonder..." he said to himself. "However will I call attention to myself? I don't know the customs of this Gensokyo after all..." Scratching his chin, he suddenly came up with an idea. The monk took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, "LADIES~~!!! I'M HANDSOME AND SINGLE~~!!!"

'That oughta do it~!' he thought proudly, standing and waiting for the ladies to flock towards him.

...Any moment now.

...Aaaaaany moment now...

[Ikyuu Nagae]

Ikyuu came up behind Ryoumu and whispered in his ear, using Iku's voice. "How long have you been waiting here?" He moved back before Ryoumu could turn his head to look.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"You don't smell like women, Ikyuu," Ryoumu sighed, glancing back at him. "You smell like dead fish. I guess it's natural that you can easily sound like a girl... Since you're gay and all~!" He grinned again and turned back away.

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"I'm straighter than you atleast." Ikyuu shook his head. "I'm not the one who's always showing himself. Seriously, you just scream, 'Look at me, I'm gay.'" He rolled his eyes. "Maybe that's why girls will never like you. And, you smell worse than me. Sweat, and....Fluid...." He gagged a bit at the thought.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"I know y'are, but what'm I~?" he teased, sticking his tongue out at the older male. "Ladies love me! And I looooooove the ladies~! No chance am /I/ gay!" He seemed proud of his feeble argument, looking around to see if any chicks were around for him to use bad pick-up lines on. Despite his bragging, he really didn't understand a thing as complicated as a lady's heart. But he was so self-assured that he thought he did.

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"You naive little brat." The Oarfish sighed. "You really don't understand a thing, do you? Of course not." He fixed his hat. "You've never had a lady, and you probably never will. You drive them away with your bad lines, your cheesy comments, and your horrible attire." He felt bad for Ryoumu to an extent, but also felt he deserved it as well.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"Oh? Well I don't see you with a lady-friend either, Mr. 400-Year-Old Virgin," he snorted, folding his arms and glaring at Ikyuu. "I understand a ton, stupid-hat! And I understand how pitifully gay you are~!"

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"I don't go around, acting like a dumb ass like you do. I'm subtle, I take my time, I like to get to know women like a real man should, over dinner. You and that thick skull of yours. It's probably stone instead of bone." He glared at Ryo.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"Heheh~! I take women out, too, dummy! But, instead of taking them to cheap restaurants like /you/, I cook them meals powered by my LOVE!!" he declared in a loud voice. "As for the comment about my skull... I reeeeally don't think ya wanna find out, Flounder."

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"I'm probably a better cook than you are!" Ikyuu snapped. "Your food is probably Grade F, for Fuckin' Horrible!" He was offended now, at being called cheap. "And I doubt you even know the meaning of 'Love', you Casanova-wannabe! You really want to push it, don't you?!" He was like a cannon, ready to explode and kill someone.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"Hmph! You speak of things you do not understand!" Ryoumu was now getting kinda insulted. His cooking was great, dammit! He almost wanted to prove it, but he decided Ikyuu wasn't worthy of his culinary masterpieces. "Someone like you is faaaaaaar too cheap to try my magnificent Double Truffle Hamburger, Grand Opulence Sundae and Samundari Khazana!"

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"Oh look, you're a whore with no tastes." Ikyuu remarked. "The traditional is the best way to go!" He had a strong dislike for the overly indulgent and such. "The simple, the traditional, that's the best food in the universe." This was also the way he grew up, eating and cooking traditional foods.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"...Oh. I'm so sorry, Ikyuu..." He put a hand on the oarfish's shoulder, sighing and shaking his head. "...I didn't know you were dirt poor, forced to live on nothing but rice and soggy noodles, making curry from cheap curry powder and bending over to pick up every penny you find on the floor, never able to indulge yourself with the best the world has to offer... You poor, poor, poor person." He sighed again, shrugging and reaching in his sleeve. "Alright, if it is truly what you desire, what you need, I suppose I can part with this..." Ryoumu turned away and threw a 10 Yen coin over his shoulder, hitting the brim of Ikyuu's hat.

[Ikyuu Nagae]

Ikyuu's eye twitched. "I'm not poor, you snob. You have no taste, at all. You gay ass little brat." He really wanted to put Ryoumu down for the count. "Seems we'll have to see who's a better cook sometime, you prick. Unless, of course, you're a lowly coward as well." He fixed his hat and threw the coin at the back of Ryoumu's neck.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

Ryoumu caught the coin without even looking, like a boss, and glared back at Ikyuu. "...Bring it, Fairy Boy. You think you can beat me? Hah! What a load..." He bared his teeth, reaching in his sleeves for the treasure of the Hakurei family. He was anticipating a fight.

[Ikyuu Nagae]

"I have no time to waste, fighting you. You're honestly not worth it." He scoffed and started to walk away. "No taste....Ha! Doesn't deserve a damn thing, too indulgent, doesn't know how to truly please a woman. Poor bastard." His words became harder and harder to hear, the farther away he got.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

"I'm rubber you're gluuuueeeeeeee!!!" he shouted after him. "...Honestly... Just who does that braggart think he is?"

[Ikyuu Nagae]

Ikyuu was gone in a matter of seconds, seemingly having ignored Ryoumu's failure of a comeback. So now, the snobby monk was all alone again.

[Ryoumu Hakurei]

Ryoumu sighed again, turning away and placing his hands on his hips. "...But... Maybe he had a point..." He scratched his cheeks, looking around at all the guys in the village. "...They all have shirts on. Even though it's super hot outside, they're dealin' with it. In my Gensokyo, that's kinda weird, but maybe here..." He continued to mumble to himself, contemplating the differences in customs between the two versions of Gensokyo.

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